


I lost everything, but not you

by fridaysfun



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Magnus taking care of Alec, Malec, Protective!Magnus, Shadowhunters - Freeform, hurt!Alec, magnus & alec - Freeform, magnus and alec - Freeform, magnus lost his magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 16:31:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14698047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fridaysfun/pseuds/fridaysfun
Summary: Magnus has lost his magic, Alec's been hurt, but they're back to each other now, talking things out.Set after 3x10.





	I lost everything, but not you

“Need anything else?” Magnus asked Alec as he sat next to him on the couch and handed him a hot cup of tea.

  
“No, thank you” Alec replied and held that mug close to both of his hands to warm them up.

  
It was a few days after he got hurt by the Owl but his chest was still hurting. At least, Jace was back and Magnus was there for him. He spent the first days at the Institute as all of them wanted to take care of him and let him rest even though they wanted him to still run it as the Head of the Institute.  
Magnus hated that idea though. When Izzy and Jace told him that it’d be better for him to stay at the Institute for the next two or three days, he got mad, angry even. Not at them, not at Alec, not at anyone in general. He just got angry. He didn’t really want to seem selfish, but he didn’t care. He wanted him all for himself, at least for now. He almost watched him die the other day, he came back from Edom to see Alec’s body on the ground, almost bleeding to death. He couldn’t even bear the thought of it and after all of this, he just wanted to bring him back home and be the one to take care of him.

  
But he agreed.  
He couldn’t do otherwise.

  
Jace was a mess after everything that happened. He’s been blaming himself since the moment they got him back and he tried to make Magnus understand that it was important to him to have Alec at the Institute and actually be able to make his pain go away, and maybe, to be forgiven by Alec.  
Although, that never happened. Alec had nothing to forgive because it wasn’t Jace’s fault. No one blamed Jace for what happened, but he was still doing that himself. He hated that he was possessed, that he wasn’t himself, that he killed and hurt so many innocent people, that he hurt Alec. He couldn’t take this, he could never forgive himself.

  
So Magnus agreed. It was the least he could do if that would make him feel even a bit better, being close and taking care of his brother.  
The days passed quickly though and Magnus finally got Alec back. Now he was here, sitting next to him on the couch, finally having the chance to talk with him and feel him close, finally.

“Do you want me to change the bandage on your chest?” Magnus asked again kindly and got to meet the pair of these beautiful hazel eyes he missed so much.

  
“Magnus, I’m fine” Alec said again, not sharply, but Magnus sighed disappointedly.

That feeling even got worse now.

  
All this time, Magnus was feeling nothing but useless. He realized that not having his magic anymore made everything a mess. For him, for his everyday life. He couldn’t do actually a single thing without thinking of how he could do it using his magic. How easier that would be.  
He’s been messing up his makeup, he’s been doing the dishes for hours, he was feeding the cats himself. All of a sudden everything was too hardcore for him.  
And that was just the simple things that needed to be done.  
But from now on, he could never win a fight, be the High Warlock of Brooklyn again, protect and take care of himself, protect Alec.

“Magnus?” the voice put him out of his thoughts immediately and Magnus looked up at him again, returning to reality.

“What’s wrong?” Alec asked and sat more comfortably on the couch, his eyes not leaving Magnus’.

“What? Nothing is wrong” Magnus replied making Alec frown.

Alec was trying hard not to push it, not to press Magnus, because he knew.  
He knew, and right now wasn’t really the good time to make him talk. So he got the chance to do it himself.

“I’m sorry.”

Magnus seemed confused, not knowing what to say and how to react. He tried to think of many different reasons why Alec was sorry, and why he was apologizing, but he couldn’t find an answer to any of these questions.

“What are you sorry for, Alexander?” he just asked, scared of what he was going to hear.

“For you getting through all this. For having to go to Edom, for having to meet your father, for— giving up on your magic for Jace” his voice almost broke and Magnus struggled to try to hold back his tears.  
He knew that Alec would find out anyway because that night he wasn’t actually in the best situation to hear what Magnus had said. He was about to faint, to die.

“Jace told me” he added and Magnus just nodded, having no clue of what he was supposed to say.

  
“But why, Magnus? I mean I really don’t know how to thank you enough for this, how to express how sorry I am for losing your power but— why did you do this for Jace?” Alec spoke again and honestly, Magnus wanted to laugh.

If he hadn’t done that, Alec would be dead by now.

“Alexander,” he started, cupping Alec’s cheek and moving a bit closer to him.

  
“Do you really believe I did it just for Jace?” he asked rhetorically, not waiting for an answer, and went on.

  
“If you’d kill Jace, even though it would happen the other way around and that’s not something I’d want to talk and even think about right now, a part of you would have died too” he took a deep breath, Alec’s eyes still focused on his own.

  
“And I can’t lose you.”

Alec’s breath was taken away, tears starting to threaten his eyes with their appearance. Magnus caressed his neck and looked at him with admiration, love.

“I don’t know what to say, Magnus” Alec immediately took Magnus’ free hand in his own and squeezed him softly.

“Thank you, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s over now. I got you back and you should know by now that that’s the most important thing to me” he explained and freed his hands from his neck and hand so he could wrap them around him and crash his body against his.

“I love you” Magnus whispered into his ear and Alec pressed his head on his shoulder, crying silently and feeling Magnus’ body familiar against his own.

  
“Also,” he started, leaving a kiss on his wet cheek.

  
“What would you say if I asked you to move in with me now?”

  
Alec smiled, even though Magnus couldn’t see it and left out a chuckle, or a sob, he couldn’t even be sure of what exactly that was. New tears started to run through his cheeks, but right now, those were happy tears.

  
“Yes, Magnus, I’d say yes.”


End file.
